This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
