U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
