Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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