covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
