The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
