I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
