What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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