I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
