I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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