One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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