So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize