I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
is that a dick in a sweater?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
