quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
