I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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