My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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