I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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