We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
