i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She even gives head with a lisp.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
