Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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