I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
