I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
