i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
