Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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