Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
