the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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