well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
