so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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