I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
