So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
