I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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