God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she peed on how many people?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
