Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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