The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
