i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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