dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
