Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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