We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
