who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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