it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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