Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
