): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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