i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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