Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
