Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
