i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
