Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
