If that was your dad, he is hot
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
