I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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