Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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