were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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