Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
