Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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