I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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